Saturday (3 days before next chemo)

Sorry, I have not been good about updating my blog.... some computer problems (ouch!!), and just got back on Thursday from Hood Canal and 2 days in Seattle! If this first cycle of chemo is representative of how I will feel, it seems like it is a cycle. Once I came back from the "dark side" each day I felt so much better! And it's amazing how good it feels, just to feel normal! And to have days at a time, when I was not going to any doctor appointments! I am looking forward to my next chemo appt (this Tuesday), but also a bit apprehensive. I am happy to be ONE step closer to my goals!! That whole thing of "punching" in through my port, still mentally "freaks me out" a bit. But, better than an IV through my arm, I guess?! And, yes - my hair is starting to fall out by the handfulls. We have two cats - Zoe and Circe. Zoe has a beautiful coat of fur, and rarely loses her fur. Circe leaves a trail where she has been, with her fur. So NOW, Wayne has both ME and Circe leaving hair/fur every where we go!!! When I start having to do comb overs, I think I will have Wayne just finish cutting it all off, like a really short crew cut!!! We went for the most awesome walk today! Up some big hills in Johns Landing, and then dropped down to the river. Tons of flowering cherry trees, daffodils, daphne (my favorite bush), etc. And about 200 fishermen in the Willamette, fishing for Spring chinook!! We actually jogged for about 1/4 mile (a far cry from my last 8 mile run the end of January)... Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful EARLY hint of Spring!! THANKS to everyone for the ongoing/nonstop cards, emails, calls, FLOWERS, soup, lotions/potions, books! I am SO spoined and appreciative! xoxoxoxoxo

Feeling Better! - Day 9

Wow! I am feeling HUMAN! I just read my last blog, and it sounded about as dreary as I felt.... I woke up today feeling like a GREAT BIG HEAVY DARK curtain had lifted! And, I have not taken ONE pill (yet!) all day! There is something to be said about feeling so absolutely miserable, SO you appreciate feeling NORMAL! I LOVE normal! I have a feeling my WBC (white blood cells) are rebuilding!! A gorgeous beautiful day in Portland! Sunny, warm - - perfect! I went for a 3 mile walk with Janice! The sun warmed my new SHORT hair! Wayne and I went to a MOVIE!! A Single Man (which I highly recommend). I LOVE LOVE LOVE Colin Firth, but my NEW obsession is Jeremy Renner, from the Hurt Locker. He is MY GUY for best actor (sorry Jeff Bridges fans). So, I was down 7 pounds yesterday, but I think I gained 5 back today! Yes, I ended the day with a lime chicken enchalida from Chez Jose! With a BIG glass of ice cold milk! WOW! So other highlights of my life (at home watching the Olympics), I am a HUGE Shaun White fan, having met him at numerous events through the years. It is POSSIBLE that I am in one of his highlight videos. And, this is embarassing .... He is about 13 years old, we are interviewing him after a day of snowboarding, both at the mountain and then in his hotel room with his Mom (who is a SWEETHEART!). You can see the interviewers and cameraman in his goggles (YIKES) !! He was so cute when we shot broll in his hotel room. There were twin beds in the room, and he was literally jumping between the two beds, doing tricks in the air! That was a LONG time ago!!

Thanks everyone for our ongoing emails, cards and calls. I LOVE hearing what is going on out in the "real world". My world is now like General Hospital. Ellie, my nurse navigator, is my one of my new BF's. I look forward to hear calls, to hear what is going on with her day and her gossip!

Talk soon! xoxoxoxoxo

Dark side of the moon

Hi to everyone! Sorry for the delay in updating, but I have hit the "chemo wall" a bit. It was to be expected. In the cycle of the chemo, I think I must be approaching the lower white blood cell counts, which makes me feel pretty lathargic/sleepy, hard to just keep my eyes open. I have had some naseau and stomach pain that have been pretty unsettling. But, it is good to know the chemo is WORKING!! I have been motivated to go for walks - thanks to Wayne, for getting me out there! 1 to 3 mile walks (a far cry from my last 8 mile run), but NO worries - I will be back to running as soon as I can! My port area is finally starting to feel better, almost "normal". That is a relief!

Wayne went with me to see Nakia yesterday, for my BIG hair cut. Wow! That was a little harder than I thought it would be. She cut my hair super short. Wayne thinks it's cute! I have to say, it's better than I thought it would be! Once it starts falling out, Nakia will cut it / shave it for me if needed. That should happen next week. Nakia is an ANGEL!


I have an appointment to meet with a nutritionist next week. A referral from my friend Nancy. I am looking forward to that - and think he will be able to help me with my over-all energy and get me on a better track with diet.


Thanks to EACH one of you for your ongoing emails, cards, visits, soup, "girlfriend" gifts, etc. The love and support of each one of you is THE biggest motivation I could ever want! Each one of you means so much to me! Will blog more later. xoxoxo

#5 - Eviction Day

To quote Kathy Krause, THE cancer got it's eviction notice today, to start packing! I do have to admit, I was equally excited to get started with my chemo today and somewhat scared. More excited than scared. My oncologist, Dr. Barfe met with me to start and her confidence along with her genuine caring is VERY assuring! I think she is young enough to be my daughter. Before med school, she was classically trained in ballet. I am quite sure she is an off the chart over-achiever. To say she inspires confidence would be a BIG understatement. Then, off to the "chemo cocktail" room. I think I was most nervous about "punching" through my newly installed port for the blood work and then the chemo drip. It was NOT too bad. They iced the area, and to than my friend Nancy Wojo for my next visit, I got a prescription for Lidocaine, which will make it MUCH easier next time. So, for the next three hours, the chemo FLOWED! One of my BFF (Penny Gardiner) was also with me, and we talked, laughed, played some scrabble (she LET me beat), etc. Yes, I wore my new UGGS (chemo boots)! I felt a bit flushed at times, but over-all - NO problem-o! I felt AWESOME after the session and still feel pretty "DARN" good. I may feel some nausea in the next few days, and then I will reach my "nadir" in about ten days, where my wbc (white blood count) will reach a VERY low threshold. This may cause some fatigue AND I cannot get SICK! I need to be a "nazi" about washing my hands and NOT being around anyone who has a sniffle of any kind. The chemo I am taking: Docetaxel (Taxotere), Traxtuzumab (Herceptin), Carboplatin (Paraplatin). If you rate these drugs from 1 to 10 (1 being mild), they are about in the middle. I WILL definately lose ALL of hair (in about one week). I am scheduled for 5 more sessions, to make a total of 6 sessions over 18 weeks. I will go in every 3 weeks. It's weird to say - but I feel REALLY good about having the chemo in my body. I have a couple of images, one is so goofy. Like Ms. Pacman, gobbling up all the "bad things" and the other one is (equally goofy), but the Knights of the Roundtable, conquering the chemo! The drugs must be already altering my thought process! I have NOT got the nerve to ask Dr. Barfe about medical marijuana, yet .... (just kidding!)

One of my other BFF, Janice gave me and some of our best girlfriends a candle to light. She suggested we light them on my chemo day, to unite against the evil cancer and my victory! Janice - I came home and lit my candle!! I shared the story with my Mom, and she lit a candle as well for me. My Mom and brother have some very strong prayers that they are sending to me. My Mom is very spiritual and has such an unshakeable belief in prayer. I LOVE her so much. She is a breast cancer survivor, and I remember being SO proud of her when I walked down the treatment and recovery road with her. I never in a million years, thought I would follow this same road. but seeing her courage is what I believe is helping me. Each ONE Of you, with your cards, books, flowers / SUNFLOWERS!, my new PINK pillow, photographs, sharing your day to day life with me, going to my doctor appointments with me, sharing your experiences/resources with me, teaching me how to breathe/meditate, living vicariously through your day/ski trips photos, sharing recipies, hat parties, comedy clubs - Most of all, just your quick emails and blogs to let me know what YOU are doing, means the world to me!

Right now at this moment in time, I feel GOOD and CONFIDENT that I will win this battle! I may have my head in the Curious George bucket tomorrow morning, with nausea - but that will be ok. That means the chemo is WORKING!

Goodnight, and LOVE LOVE LOVE you all!

Update #4 - radioactive!

Yeah, I "passed" my final test (for this week), before I start chemo. You realize how quickly your world has changed, when you check into the radiology department, and you know two of the techs! Desi (girl) is a sweetheart. She drapes me in warm blankets, and is an ACE at drawing blood. My "port" was too new to use... So, they took some of my blood, and mixed it with some dye, and then took a LONG photograph of my heart (for about 45 minutes). The purpose of the test is to make sure the left side of my heart is pumping properly - and it is! I hope some of my running (those two 1/2 marathons) have paid off! The other nice news, they shared the results right away, no test and wait. My good friend (a Director I work with) came over this evening and gave Janice D and me some personal yoga postions/medation/breathing exercises! I can see where this will be VERY helpful in the months ahead. THANK YOU, Sharon!! And, other nice news, Wayne has been by my side 24/7 since my diagnosis, and today he met up with our friend Mark to play some golf (in the rain!!). But - they had fun. I think they found the "19th" hole pretty early in the afternoon! I still have some pain/tenderness from the port surgery. I will take pain pills tonight, but hope to NOT take any tomorrow. We have a fire going, Wayne is making lime chicken for dinner and we may watch the "Hurt Locker" tonight. PLEASE send me emails - about what you are up to! I LOVE all the emails I am receiving with news from everywhere! THANK you, Bustamantes for the news from the GREAT WHITE NORTH, and from Jenn - my fellow Leo! xoxo

Update #3

It is a BEAUTIFUL Wednesday morning, in the city of roses! We woke up to sunshine, Mt. Hood glowing in the distance, our front lawn filled with maybe 100 geese eating their (bugs!) for breakfast, runners on the path along the river!

I had my "port installed" last night. I was scheduled for a 6:00pm surgery, but it was pushed back due to earlier emergencies. I fasted all day, which was not a problem, because I think I was too nervous to eat. This is only the third time in my life, I have been sedated. It was a quiet night, so I got lots of TLC! And, thanks to the port, this will be the last time they need to search for a vein for IV's, blood tests, etc. I felt like an "extra" in Grey's Anatomy. I was "awake" in the OR room for awhile, which was a BIT unnerving. Ellie (my nurse navigator, and one of my NEW bff), came and hung out with Wayne and me for awhile while we waited. Plus we had some face time with the incredible Dr. Johnson before surgery. I think it was also a good thing for me, because this was like a dry run for when I have my surgery this June. I can visualize everything and know what to expect. We got home around 10:00pm. Wayne set up "Lost" to record, so I had that to look forward to! I came home with a prescription for pain pills, and it has been a bit painful.

Other news, we have been waiting, waiting, waiting to see if my cancer is positive or negative for her-2-nu. In Wendy terms, this refers to the genetic of the cancer cell and it's propensity to multiply. 98% of the world is very clear cut positive or negative. Well, my results are equalivent. They will send out my cells for another test, but I think the plan will be to treat me like it is positive. We of course would have liked this to be negative, but the good news - there is a very successful treatment for this - called herception. This will become part of my chemo process - it is not a chemo drug, but another powerful drug which is very effective. I will have this treatment for one year. This is where I saw hallalejuah about the port! I will also undergo another battery of tests because of this treatment. I will get a full work-up on my heart! Wow - I am going to be the $6Million lady very soon!

Other updates, I finally found the right time/place to share my cancer news with my Mom. She is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed when she was 72 years old, and will celebrate her 80th birthday this year and is cancer free. Her Mom (my Grandma) passed away because of complications due to breast cancer. I knew my diagnosis would be very unsettling for her. My brother was with her when I shared the news. Over-all she took the news pretty well. She knows she survived, and she has a very strong faith and believes in the power of prayer. It somehow becomes even more real to me, having shared this with my Mom - but in a good way.

So, we have many fun, normal things going on in our life. We helped my niece and family move to a new home in McMinnville. Exciting news for them. A roomier home, each of their babies will have their own bedroom, and a great kitchen (both Brie and Jerome are awesome cooks). So many of our friends are sharing resources and references. Janice and Mark brought dinner over, Nancy Wojo has shared a wealth of books and her amazing diet plans (Nancy - we had your smoothie! for breakfast today), Kathy and Russ have shared so many stories and photos which are so inspirational, flowers, cards, the list goes on and on. Angie is my rock in all of this. Sharon is coming over this week to teach me her "breathing" exercises. Penny is packing her bags to come spend next week with me (wig shopping, my chemo pal, etc).And at the end of the day, Wayne is THE MAN! While waiting last night, I peaked in the notebook Dr. Johnson has put together. She had in BIG LETTERS, Wendy has the love and support of her husband - Wayne! My girlfriend, Danna (a breast cancer survivor), said the #1 thing you have - is the love, support and belief Wayne has in you! I AM a lucky woman!

Please share what is going on in your life! I love hearing just your every day stories