V DAY!!!! Yipee, surgery is over! Plus there is MORE awesome news. I got all my pathology back yesterday - and it was CLEAN!! We asked my oncologist if we could have hoped for any better news - and she said no - this is as good as it gets!!
I cannot even attempt to explain or put words to how I feel. I still almost feel like I am in a dream state, and will wake up and still be waiting for surgery and the "news". But, I keep pinching myself - and this is ALL TRUE!!
My results are back from my bone density - and my bones are STRONG! I will be on a post surgery pill regime for five years. One side affect - it can weaken your bones, so we have a plan for that. Which includes me working out with weights!!
All went well with my 1st steps with reconstruction. I have "expanders" in place with a slight "pump up". I still look pretty much like a teenage boy, but with a tiny bit of shape.
My PUMP is out!! For some silly reason, my pump bothered me from the start - and now it's out!
I came home with a pain pump (attached to me?!!!) about the size of a croquet ball. It "ran out" today as planned, and Dr. Wayne removed the tubes and pump. Now, I "just" have two drainage tubes. These do cause me some angst - but they will be out soon enough - and I am NOT complaining about anything.
I had 4 lymph nodes taken out and (again) the pathology on these came back CLEAN!!
I was blessed with a DREAM TEAM! Lead by Dr. Johnson. Each and every person was BEYOND professional AND nice. My ONE NIGHT stay at Good Sam was wonderful. Wow - I have total respect for the nurses. They work hard, and have SO much empathy!
I think I maybe cried three times over the past five months, but for some reason, today has been Niagra Falls for me. I think it's just relief. I cried at the ending of all the silly tv movies I watched all day (Tin Cup, for example!!), and just hug Wayne and cry!!! All happy tears!
THANK YOU to each one of you. You have given me such emotional support and love - and I KNOW this has got me through this. I still have about four months to go, but I am on the downside now. Will try to keep my blog updated, but just wanted to get this GREAT news out to each of you!
LOVE YOU, xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
3 days before surgery - but who is counting??
We are back from Honolulu! Just what the doctor ordered. 85 degrees, the Pacific ocean was as warm as a bath, the trade winds were blowing JUST enough to feel like we were being kissed by a warm breeze! As Tina Fey would say, "I want to go (back) to there"!! Truly, I thought if we sold EVERYTHING, we may be able to afford a little grass shack somewhere close to a beach?! The Royal Hawaiian was a dream! The pink palace. It's truly an oasis. It seems like you have been transported back in time to about 1950 something. We stayed in the historic section. It's been completely restored, but the only drawback, the bathrooms are the size of a postage stamp! Truly, cruise ships have larger bathrooms than this hotel! A small price to pay!
I came back to a "flurry" of more doctor appointments. Bone density, plastic surgeon, my surgeon, and final decisions to make. I will show up at Good Sam at 9:00am on Tuesday. Of course, a lot of hurry up and wait. The first thing - please give me as much valium as possible. The second thing, I go and have my breast injected twice with a substance/dye before surgery so they can find/track my lympth nodes. Yikes, this sounds like the most worrisome thing. I had (in error) thought they did this once I was "out" under. Then back to the pre-op room, for blood work, ekg, etc. Surgery will start around 1:00pm. I should be out of surgery by 4:00pm.
I will probably be in the hospital two nights. Several people have asked if they could come visit me in the hospital. I think I will be pretty groggy, filled with pain pills, etc. So - I might suggest, I would SO enjoy appreciate phone calls to my cell phone (503.329.1939) with good wishes, text messages and emails! I will take my computer (of course)! And most of all - the power of love, and positive thinking. Please send all of your good vibes and prayers especially on Tuesday and Wednesday. My good friend Nancy who has gone down this road ahead of me, said it was almost a surreal moment for her, that she could literally feel the love/support and being lifted up by her friends and family on her surgery date, and that it continued until she was safely at home! Who could ever want more than that?!!
So right now, I feel more anxious to get this behind me than anything. Yes, I do feel some angst/fear - but not too much. As always, the big worry, is what the final pathology will tell us. Of course, I hope for the best and am thinking positive thoughts. I will be disappointed, but NOT crushed if I do need further treatment after surgery. If I need radiation - I will just be thankful that is available as one more tool to keep me a survivor!
THANK YOU to each one of you for your ongoing care, love and support! I will update my blog as soon as I can, probably on Thursday!
Hugs and love, xoxoxoxoxoxo
I came back to a "flurry" of more doctor appointments. Bone density, plastic surgeon, my surgeon, and final decisions to make. I will show up at Good Sam at 9:00am on Tuesday. Of course, a lot of hurry up and wait. The first thing - please give me as much valium as possible. The second thing, I go and have my breast injected twice with a substance/dye before surgery so they can find/track my lympth nodes. Yikes, this sounds like the most worrisome thing. I had (in error) thought they did this once I was "out" under. Then back to the pre-op room, for blood work, ekg, etc. Surgery will start around 1:00pm. I should be out of surgery by 4:00pm.
I will probably be in the hospital two nights. Several people have asked if they could come visit me in the hospital. I think I will be pretty groggy, filled with pain pills, etc. So - I might suggest, I would SO enjoy appreciate phone calls to my cell phone (503.329.1939) with good wishes, text messages and emails! I will take my computer (of course)! And most of all - the power of love, and positive thinking. Please send all of your good vibes and prayers especially on Tuesday and Wednesday. My good friend Nancy who has gone down this road ahead of me, said it was almost a surreal moment for her, that she could literally feel the love/support and being lifted up by her friends and family on her surgery date, and that it continued until she was safely at home! Who could ever want more than that?!!
So right now, I feel more anxious to get this behind me than anything. Yes, I do feel some angst/fear - but not too much. As always, the big worry, is what the final pathology will tell us. Of course, I hope for the best and am thinking positive thoughts. I will be disappointed, but NOT crushed if I do need further treatment after surgery. If I need radiation - I will just be thankful that is available as one more tool to keep me a survivor!
THANK YOU to each one of you for your ongoing care, love and support! I will update my blog as soon as I can, probably on Thursday!
Hugs and love, xoxoxoxoxoxo
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Last Chemo before surgery!
May 24th - my LAST chemo before surgery! What a wonderful feeling to have that behind me!! Looking back, time seemed to both go fast AND drag by. Each session was getting harder, because the effects were cumulative. But, YEAH - no more chemo!!
My bilateral surgery is scheduled for June 22nd. I really feel like I am in a time warp, sometimes that seems so far away, then I wake up in the middle of the night with angst that it is sooooo close. I have very mixed feelings - so want to get it over with, but certainly a little more than scared!!
The other news, that I am still "digesting" and almost mourning - Dr. Barfe, my oncologist is moving to Denver. I am SO sad about this. She has become a very special person to me both as my oncologist, coach, and friend. I will spend the next five years with my oncologist, and they are in my opinion the most important person on my team. I am confident I will find a new oncologist that will be perfect - but I do miss that after being in the trenches with Dr. Barfe for the past six months, that I will LOSE her. Then I think, if this is the worst thing that happens, that it will be ok!!!
The GREAT news, Wayne and I are leaving tomorrow for a quick, impromptu trip to Honolulu! We got married at the Royal Hawaiian (a beautiful historic hotel that sits in the middle of Waikiki) 21 years ago. We will stay there and swim in the ocean, drink Mai Tai's and lay in the SUN!!!!
Aloha and Mahalo to all of you! Much love and will update my blog after my surgery.
My bilateral surgery is scheduled for June 22nd. I really feel like I am in a time warp, sometimes that seems so far away, then I wake up in the middle of the night with angst that it is sooooo close. I have very mixed feelings - so want to get it over with, but certainly a little more than scared!!
The other news, that I am still "digesting" and almost mourning - Dr. Barfe, my oncologist is moving to Denver. I am SO sad about this. She has become a very special person to me both as my oncologist, coach, and friend. I will spend the next five years with my oncologist, and they are in my opinion the most important person on my team. I am confident I will find a new oncologist that will be perfect - but I do miss that after being in the trenches with Dr. Barfe for the past six months, that I will LOSE her. Then I think, if this is the worst thing that happens, that it will be ok!!!
The GREAT news, Wayne and I are leaving tomorrow for a quick, impromptu trip to Honolulu! We got married at the Royal Hawaiian (a beautiful historic hotel that sits in the middle of Waikiki) 21 years ago. We will stay there and swim in the ocean, drink Mai Tai's and lay in the SUN!!!!
Aloha and Mahalo to all of you! Much love and will update my blog after my surgery.
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