Log Date: May 13th

Wow! I am really the world's worst blogger! I think I took my time updating this, because I had so much to think about...
I had my 2nd opinion with the UW/Fred Hutchinson oncologist - about two weeks ago. I LOVE this new DOC and feel 1000% complete confidence in her (as I do with my Portland oncologist). She has a specific background with Her2Nu, and is actively involved in ongoing research in this area. She was totally confident that my tests have MORE than proved that I am Herc2NU negative. This is a relief. It means that I will NOT need to take the herceptin for one year. I have already discontinued it with my chemo treatments, but we were going to start it back up after my surgery, if we determined I was positive. This new oncologist will be available as a resource/back-up to my Portland team. It can never hurt to have another expert on the team!

So, I had set a goal to make a final decision regarding my operation after this appointment. My tumor has shrunk to the point, that I now have other options. I pretty much have LOTS of time to think about my options, and I have decided to stay the course with my original thought of having the bilateral mastectomy. It just feels like the right decision FOR ME. My surgery is scheduled for ...... June 22nd. It just seems SO real to write this date down. Yikes!

My LAST chemo treatment is scheduled for Monday, May 24th! WOW! In some ways the time has flown by, and in other ways, it has not. It seems like the whole new year of 2010 has pretty much been absorbed by my FIGHT against this cancer! I also realize this is just the first part of the journey. First chemo, then surgery. After surgery, a reassesment of treatment depending on the outcome of the labs. Next steps could include radiation, and then "reconstruction" (what a word!). Ongoing for 5 to 7 years, I will be on a prescription pill(s) for hormonal replacement, because of the type of cancer I have. Finally, THE most important part of the whole journey - to the ONGOING FIGHT to stay healthy and do all in my power to keep the cancer from returning in some other part of my body! That will be the BIGGEST mental part of this whole journey. Up to this point, there are actual THINGS to do (chemo, drugs, surgery). But once that is all over, it is somewhat like Las Vegas. Betting/praying on the odds for a LONG and healthy life!

Wayne and I are up in Washington at our cabin on Hood Canal! It is SO beautiful! I am trying very hard to walk daily! My chemo cocktail dose has been bumped up a bit, and is a little stronger. It does take about 10 days after my treatment before I start to feel more "normal". The first ten days pretty much finds me going for a walk, and then sleeping! Zoe and Circe have become glued to me through this! They are pretty much ready for a nap anytime. Wayne is my WHITE KNIGHT! I do not know what I would do without him. More than my DOCS, I feel he has the strength/belief to single handed pull me through this. I always try to meet him 1/2 way - but there are days I still want to just pull the covers over my head, and when I peak out - he is there for me.

THANK YOU to my friends and family for your ONGOING support and holding me up through this. I am still humbled by the outpouring of love, support and prayers. I LOVE your emails, calls, and joining me for walks, coffee - keeping me up with what is going on in your life and the "world" outside of my life! Hope you are all enjoying SPRING! I will work on planting my sweetpeas and sunflowers today! Hugs and LOVE to all of you!